Plutarch, a famous Greek historian,
cites an encounter that probably occurred by 336 B.C., when Alexander visited
Craneion:
“Thereupon many
statesmen and philosophers came to Alexander with their congratulations, and he
expected that Diogenes of Sinope also, who was tarrying in Corinth, would do
likewise. But since that philosopher took not the slightest notice of
Alexander, and continued to enjoy his leisure in the suburb Craneion, Alexander
went in person to see him; and he found him lying in the sun.”
Alexander then asked Diogenes “Diogenes, I have heard a great deal
about you. Is there anything I can do for you?”
”Diogenes
raised himself up a little when he saw so many people coming towards him, and
fixed his eyes upon Alexander. And when that monarch addressed him with
greetings, and asked if he wanted anything, "Yes," said Diogenes,
"Stand a little out of my sun." It is said that Alexander was so
struck by this…."
This anecdote became one of the
most celebrated ones in Greek history. Triumph of dignity over pride. The romantic
confrontation between philosopher and tyrant. David slew Goliath. The affirmation
of Socrates’s notion: ‘He is richest who
is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.’ If you
visit Wikipedia’s page of the anecdote, you’d find various interpretations by various
philosophers.
I have been reflecting a lot upon the
anecdote, for I had a similar encounter too. A previous manager of mine invited
me to his office. After small, insincere, pleasantries he confided to me that he
has a vision for my future. In two years, he foresaw, I could occupy his role.
His offer rather than delighting me, infuriated me. Unfortunately I wasn’t
quick witted or courageous as Diogenes was, so I only maintained a stoic composure.
A stream of thoughts cascaded upon me: how dare he assumes knowing what I
aspire to? How dare he assumes that he’s a role model to me? What sort of
audacity he possessed with which he measured my abilities and skills, and based
on that computed that I need two years to be at his role?
Some of you might think my emotions
were exaggerated, and maybe ungrateful; that this was such a nice gesture of
the man. But my manager, just like Alexander, spoke from a lofty, dominating
stand. They didn’t familiarize themselves with their assumed beneficiaries.
This is however not a strange phenomenon. Dominance exists as long as hierarchy
exists. Hierarchy implies vertical distance and positional difference; and this
vice has oozed into our metaphors language: high horse, pedestal, soap box, and
ivory tower.
The literature of psychology
undertook the study of such symptoms since the 1960s, and its scientific name
is Narcissistic Personality
Disorder. What follows is the symptoms that accompany this psychological
impairment:
- Expects to be recognized as
superior and special, without superior accomplishments,
- Expects constant attention,
admiration and positive reinforcement from others
- Envies others and believes
others envy him/her,
- Is preoccupied with thoughts
and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, and
intelligence,
- Lacks the ability to
empathize with the feelings or desires of others,
- Is arrogant in attitudes and
behavior,
- Has expectations of special treatment that are
unrealistic,
There
is a prescript to the name of the syndrome: Narcissistic; the name is derived
from the young Narcissus who fell in love with his own image reflected in a
pool of water. He fell into the water and drown. His self-admiration caused in
his demise. The analogy of the story is quite accurate. Study an array of professions
where one’s excellence developed into Narcissism, it usually results to failure:
military leaders, artists, athletes, media personalities, scientists… the list is quite
endless.
Let
us borrow the story of Narcissus and the consequences of Narcissism and apply
its lessons to one unexpected field: charity work.
In a public speech, Ernesto
Sirolli, an Italian who spent 7 years of his youth in Africa volunteering
shares a riveting tale. Of his first project there, he says: “…a project
where we Italians decided to
teach Zambian people how to
grow food…and we taught the local people how to grow Italian tomatoes and
zucchini and ... And of course the local people had absolutely no interest in
doing that, so we paid them to come and work, and sometimes they would show up.
And we were amazed that the local people, in such a fertile valley, would not
have any agriculture. But instead of asking them how come they were not growing
anything, we simply said, "Thank God we're here." … We had these
magnificent tomatoes…we were telling the Zambians, "Look how easy
agriculture is." When the tomatoes were nice and ripe and red, overnight,
some 200 hippos came out from the river and they ate everything.”
Sirolli and his people shouted:
"My God, the hippos!" to which the Zambians said,
"Yes, that's why we have no
agriculture here." The
Italians, baffled, asked them "Why
didn't you tell us?" to which the Zambians said "You never
asked."
Obviously, there are commonalities
amongst the stories of Alexander and Diogenes, the Manager and myself, and the
Italians and the Zambians: questions were asked. And the responses might
seem a bit strange: hostile and indifferent. But the problems weren’t that the
questions were asked, rather, the attitude with which they were asked. And
what was wrong them? The questions, at least in the eyes of the supposed
beneficiaries, were insincere. While they appeared sympathetic and philanthropic,
they courted arrogance and condescension. They weren’t about fulfilling the need of
the supposed beneficiaries, but rather to fulfill something less straight
forward: the egotism of the asker (just imagine someone approaching you
randomly and suggesting: ‘I can help you lose weight’ or ‘You look
pale, I can give you tips to prettier!’ wouldn’t you be insulted?)
There is a postscript to Sirolli story:
“We Western people are imperialist,
colonialist missionaries, and there are only two ways we deal with people: We
either patronize them, or we are paternalistic. The two words come from the
Latin root "pater," which means "father." But they mean two
different things. Paternalistic, I treat anybody from a different culture as if
they were my children… Patronizing, I treat everybody from another culture as
if they were my servants.”
That is the Alexander error: his
question stemmed from an imperialist and colonialist mindset; a vertical, hierarchical view that seeks to fulfill one’s ego, but losing the respect and
interest of the recipient. And the mindset creates the right and wrong
questions.
What was the title of Ernesto
Sirolli’s speech? Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!
The characters of
the movie speak out Riggan’s doubts and fears. They all were edgy and tense,
and we the audience experience as the camera that kept following the actors
closely in one long shot in the narrow corridors of the theater and back-alleys
of New York City; even shots in public felt too close, as if the director is shoving
us to walk in the shoes of the characters, and endure what they endure.
